My Boy Herbert

by Raj Jheeta
(Newcastle upon Tyne, UK)

Yesterday we had to let our Herbert go to sleep and be in peace. He ate a carvery in the sunshine and was surrounded by our family and friends, our other dog and I who gave him so much love and affection as he slipped away in my arms.

He was my life, my whole, my constant, my best friend, my family, my boy. He broke my heart seeing him in pain whilst he suffered from cancer, kidney failure and dementia. I felt cruel to prolong his life and cruel to let him go. But I truly loved him so much. I feel absolutely empty without him.

As many of you know, Herbert was an abused case and was in the shelters. Our paths crossed as I went to the kennels to get over my fear of animals. Those eyes. They said, take him home and it should help your fears, never again did Herbert return and never again was he ever caged or kept in kennels. He travelled the country with me, stayed in hotels, charmed and touched many peoples lives. He went to every pride event and liked the boys of his species a fair bit, he particularly enjoyed a mans leg here and there.

He loved humans, hated cats and was not particularly fond of horses. He would roll around at the parks and seemed to have a particular liking to Fox shit and mud which was a pain to clean. He hated his baths but loved his showers.

When I lost everything, you were with me. When I lost our home, you slept with me and took care of me. When anything happened in life, you always knew to come to Mumma and give her a hug. You used to sneak into my bedroom and I would find you under my covers with your bum in my face when I used to awake. You made me live when I felt I couldn’t go on. Always by my side, always my constant. You have been through the ups and downs in my life, given me so much love and so many memories.

Watching you deteriorate over the past year broke my heart Herbert. Christmas will never be the same without you, our home won’t be the same without you and our lives won’t be the same.

I am so sorry my baby boy, I am sorry you are sleeping on your own at the vets right now. But I will collect your ashes in a week and I will scatter them into the sea so you can be free and go to your next life. We will meet again my boy, mummy will always love you.

Herbert was clearly a very special boy, and was blessed to find such a loving home with you. Those we love live on in our hearts <3 ~ Sue